LYRICS:

Yo, my name’s Clemont, scientific genius comin’ at ya this time
My little sister’s here too
Hi I’m Bonnie nice to meet you!
Yo, what up bitch, welcome to France, I mean Kalos
No, there is not a gym inside the Eiffel Tower
You could climb to the top and jump off, if you’re feelin’ it
But you’ll soon discover Pokémon around here have a special power
Now here in Kalos you can do whatever you please
You can groom your dog, ride a goat, and even fuckin’ freeze
But if you got a couple rocks and really strong bond
Then you can reach new heights and go above and beyond

Now, respond to my heart, beyond evolution, Mega Evolve!
Lemme stop you right there (Huh?)
Listen up, mothafucka, you can’t do that anymore (Well why not?)
‘Cause we threw that shit straight out the door
We accidentally designed way too much cool shit
So we’re taking it away so that we don’t have to admit
That we showed favoritism for specific guys
That people all around the world would tend to recognize
I don’t think you understand exactly what we’ve done
We had a really good idea that was too much fun

The megas can’t be fixed
We got a brand new bag of tricks
So just forget about everything from generation six
Heard you wanted version Z
But you won’t get it from me
We’re moving on, and so should you, and your life will be Serene

Hey yo, what the fuck is this text amalgamation
With a stupid fuckin’ long drawn-out battle animation?
Oh hey, that’s a Z-move, give it a try!
Any Pokémon can use one so don’t be shy!
Well alright, but this better not be the pits
Okay, little rabbit, do a Breakneck Blitz!
Pretty cool, right?
No, that was fuckin’ shit
It kinda makes me wanna fall into a Black Hole Eclipse

How about my little mouse, can he do a trick?
Oh, sure! Here, he can use Gigavolt Havoc! (yay!)
Fuck that, I’ve seen enough of this shit
I think I’d rather have him Twinkle Tackle me off a cliff
What ever happened to the power and the cool new designs?
I’m still waiting for the mega forms of Sinnoh guys
Oh, hush now, Clemont, it’ll be just fine!
Who needs Mega Blaziken, we got Inferno Overdrive!

Do a pose, like this, and what happens next?
You fuckin’ drown in a tornado, Hydro Vortex!
They call me Genesis Supernova out in the streets
But I’m a Stoked Sparksurfer when I’m out in the sea
Gonna steal your soul with a seven-star strike
Then I’ll get in bed and Corkscrew Crash for the night
Hey Dedenne, I’m so glad we’re together
You are really super cute, Let’s Snuggle Forever!

Why won’t you let it die?
Call the Light That Burns the Sky
The entire Kalos region meets its Bloom Doom tonight
Never heard of X before
Don’t know Y you think there’s more
Count the letters in the alphabet, there’s only twenty-four

Out here in the tower’s backyard, rainin’ Splintered Stormshards
Dad is dead and now my robot’s broken, headed for the junkyard
Someone send a postcard from 2014, it’s not fair
Stuck in a Never-Ending Nightmare
Subzero Slam my head against the wall
Feeling Continental Crushed, Shattered Psyche and all
Here, I've got just the thing! Go, use Thunderbolt!
No, fuck that, make it Ten Million Volts!
Do it, Pikachu!